Author Archives: Melissa | Growing Green Nutrition

Festival of Nations by bike

We spent Sunday morning in Tower Grove Park at the Festival of Nations.  Gabriel is three for three in attending the festival, having made it every summer since he was born (recap of last year’s event here).

We chose Sunday morning to avoid cutting into garden time on Saturday.  Matthew and I debated car vs. bikes for the trip — either way, we planned an early departure, to either get a good [car] parking spot or to have at least one leg of the bicycle trip be in somewhat cooler temps.

We were still debating on Sunday morning, when Gabriel’s new-found obsession with the car decided things for us.

Up until Saturday night, Gabriel’s experience with “driving” a car (i.e., sitting in the driver’s seat of a non-running motor vehicle and turning the steering wheel) had been limited to Baba’s vehicle.  After witnessing a couple of breakdowns when it was time for said activity to end, or when denied the privilege, I decided I would avoid the issue altogether by saying that only Mama and Dada could drive “Mama Dada ca” and limiting access to the front seat of our car.

Sir took this in stride.  Sure, he attempted to circumvent the rule now and then, but a reminder that it was “Mama Dada car” headed off any major issues.  Unfortunately, Dada didn’t know about this precedent.

Saturday night, after a long day at the garden, Matthew arrived home with Gabriel, and, after some tears, agreed to let Sir “drive” the car for five minutes while he unloaded the harvest.

Of course, Sir didn’t want to relinquish the driver’s seat after those five minutes, but he finally relented with out too much fuss.  However, he spent the rest of the evening looking out the window and asking for “ca,” while Mama shot dirty looks at Dada.

Sunday morning dawned, and someone had not forgotten about the “ca.”  Since Sir obviously needed a reminder about the other, more exciting transportation option, our decision was made — go by bike!

We pedaled to the park in pleasant mid-70 temperatures, though the day promised to be hot.  Arriving well ahead of the ten o’clock start time, we visited the playground to kill some time.

I should note that biking in the park ended up being tricky.  The northern road through the park, which is usually closed to motor vehicle traffic, and thus has plenty of room to accommodate two-way bicyclist and pedestrian traffic, was open to festival vendors.  We realized too late that we were in a suboptimal position, traveling the wrong way against the one-way, west bound flow of motor vehicle traffic, on a road made narrow with cars parked on both sides — accidental salmon!

Shortly after ten, we headed over to the Festival area, where we enjoyed almost having the place to ourselves for an hour.  Gabriel made a hat at the kids’ craft station, and we scoped out the food booths.

Before we settled on any food purchases, the sound of Irish dancing drew me to the main stage area.  We staked a quieter, shady spot with a decent view, and Matthew headed back to get some food.

We tried a couple of new items this year, including a flavorful Jamaican rice and vegetable combo and Burmese savory rice and spicy green beans.  The Jamaican won, although the green beans were also quite tasty.

We rounded things out with a veggie combo plate from the Eritrian booth, a favorite in past years that was disappointing this year, plus a couple of desserts, including a nice baklava (though our favorite from past years, the Iranian baklava, seems to be gone for good).

By that point, I was hot and tired, so we beat a rather hasty retreat, aided by our über-convenient bicycle parking.  We sailed down Arsenal and Kingshighway and were home quite quickly.

I’m glad we went, but I’m feeling a little burnt out on this event.  If my count is correct, I’ve been to the Festival seven of the past eight years.  Most of the food vendors offer similar items year-to-year, so between running out of new things to try, and old favorites disappearing or disappointing, the food is less of an attraction.  Add to that the end of August, almost-always really hot weather, and I have some serious temptation to sit this event out next year, or at least not prioritize attendance.

Child labor

One of Matthew’s new crops this year was a bean that you grow for the dried bean.  Theoretically, you can grow almost any kind of green bean until the seeds/beans fully ripen and the pods dry, but certain varieties are grown with that in mind.

From time-t0-time, I read a lovely blog called A Life Sustained, where the author, Courtney, writes about creative, Montessori-learning-type activities with real-world objects for her toddler son.  I admire, and am inspired by, her efforts, but I’m not gonna lie, thinking up and carrying out projects like that is not really something to which I aspire.  And, yes, I feel at least a bit of mommy-guilt over this fact.

Last week, I soothed some of that guilt when I stumbled upon bean-shelling as an engaging, real- and natural-world toddler activity.  Perhaps it would be more fair to say that Gabriel discovered it, as it was his initial interest in the pile of dried beans left sitting on the floor.

IMG_2802

I grabbed the beans and pulled out a metal cake pan, and we plopped down on the floor and went to work.

It’s pretty amazing what toddlers can do.  At just over two-years-old, Sir has the dexterity to shell the beans, a decent bit of focus to stick with the activity, and the knowledge that the de-beaned pods go in the compost bucket.

He also knows, but sometimes needs to be reminded, that we have to make the dry beans hot (i.e., cook them) before they are good to eat.

Since decent dry beans are relatively easy and affordable to buy, Matthew is debating whether or not to grow this crop in future years.  The toddler-entertainment factor may make the case for keeping them in the rotation.

Psst, psst: Deceived by EC

I last wrote about our “Elimination Communication journey” in November 2012.  We’ve made huge progress in the nine intervening months, which I want to share, but I also became thoroughly disillusioned by the promises made in the Elimination Communication (EC) literature, which feature anecdotes from the very rare (at least in the United States) families that achieve freedom from diapers before or very shortly after the one-year-of-age mark.

The EC literature creates unrealistic expectations, especially in the cultural context of the United States, where EC practice is very rare, and where many infants spend time in daycare facilities where pee and poop free-for-alls from undiapered bottoms would create serious sanitation and health problems, and where caregivers do not possibly have the time to put each and every baby on the potty every time the infant might be showing some need.

After thirteen months of largely wasted time and effort, followed by five months of one step forward, two steps back, I was coming to this realization for myself this past February, when I read the chapter on “natural parenting” in Jessica Valenti’s Why Have Kids?

She raised good questions and provided this thought-provoking critique of EC:

. . . EC also represents the white middle-class phenomenon of fetishizing a largely imaginary “third world” motherhood that’s supposedly more pure and natural than Western parenting practices.  A common refrain from EC advocates, for example, is that mothers in India or Africa don’t use or need diapers.  Never mind that there isn’t a monolithic “Indian” or “African” parenting experience (or that Africa isn’t a country), or that the mothers they’re referring to could be very happy to have diapers, were they available.  It’s easy to appropriate a condescending fixation on “underdeveloped” motherhood when you have the financial means and leisure time to pick whatever kind of parenting works for you at the moment.  This clueless racism is captured perfectly on Krista Cornish Scott’s website, where she assures readers that “EC is not just for African bush-women” (p. 20-21).

I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time as I read that chapter.  If I had actually owned any EC books (I checked them out from the library, of course), I might have planned a book burning.

Unfortunately, my epiphany came too late, long after I’d been sucked into the myth of a diaper-free baby.

Looking back on my EC experience
Feeling frustrated (with yourself and your baby) and discouraged with every wet diaper, like you must be doing something wrong, is not a healthy or fulfilling introduction to motherhood.

Between the normal first-year-with-a-baby, sleep deprived, what-the-hell-am-I-doing haze, plus my postpartum depression haze, I failed to recognize this for many, many months.  Many months when I could, and should, have been enjoying a cute little [cloth] diapered baby butt.  Though I don’t dwell on it, I resent the extra strain and stress I put  on myself (and Matthew), as well as the normal, cuddling with a tiny baby time that I lost to potty efforts and naked-baby-on-the-floor time.

If I had a do-over . . .
I would not even attempt to take my baby anywhere near a potty until at least six months.  Even that is probably crazy early.

For Sir, things really clicked shortly after he began walking and was able to get on and off the [little] potty by himself.  This age will differ for every infant, of course, but in Sir’s case, the walking happened at about 12 1/2 months, with the independent on and off the potty about a month later (this is not to say that he was “diaper-free” at this point).

While there’s no way to know for sure, I have a strong suspicion that the “potty work” and any small progress we made during the first thirteen months of Sir’s life could have been condensed into a single month when he was thirteen- or fourteen-months-old.

One month of effort vs. thirteen months of effort — which would you choose?

I’ve concluded (though again, every child is unique) that there is probably middle ground between the very early potty learning espoused by EC advocates and the much-later, don’t even think about it until the child is at least two-years-old position held by most Western child-rearing “experts.”

I’ll share more about that in an upcoming post on our experience with potty learning from months fourteen through twenty-four, by which point we were diaper-free except for naps and overnights.

Cookie Monster

I took advantage of the cooler temperatures last week (we’re heading back toward “normal” summer heat now) to appease the Cookie Monster.

He wanted a batch of crunchy oatmeal raisin cookies and I wanted to try a new recipe for chocolate chip chia cookies.  What’s a girl to do?  Make both, of course!

Making both doughs at the same time allowed me to use the mixer twice and wash once.  I made both doughs in the morning and chilled them for afternoon baking.  I worried that the chia seeds would absorb moisture while sitting, lessening the crunch in the final product, but that wasn’t an issue.

IMG_2806

I made some significant adjustments to the chocolate chip chia recipe (above left), which was a bit of a gamble on the first round.  I kept relative proportions the same, but I subbed some rice flour and quick oats for some of the spelt flour, swapped some of the butter for nut butter, and reduced the sugar.

The result?  A low-sweetness, chewy, chocolatey cookie with crunch from the chia seeds and pecans.  They work either as a granola bar-type snack or as a healthy treat — just what I wanted!

IMG_2807

We used to freeze cookie dough balls for later baking, but it’s easier (and more energy efficient, especially in the summer) to heat the oven once, bake all the cookies in one go, and freeze them for later enjoyment.

The oatmeal cookies (smaller cookies in above photos) are a recipe from a friend, who made a batch for Matthew and his mom for their road trip to Florida earlier this summer.  The spices really make the cookies — enjoy!

Judy’s oatmeal cookies

Ingredients
2 c. whole wheat pastry flour
1 t. baking powder
1 t. baking soda
1 t. salt
1 t. cinnamon
1/2 t. nutmeg
1/4 t. cloves
1/4 t. allspice
1 c. brown sugar
1 c. white sugar
1 c. butter
2 eggs
2 t. vanilla
2.5 cups rolled oats
1 c. chopped walnuts and/or pecans
1 c. raisins (or dried cherries or cranberries)

Directions
Combine all dry ingredients (except the oats), including spices.  Set aside.

Cream the butter and sugars.  Add eggs and vanilla.

Combine dry ingredients with butter-egg mixture.  Stir in the oats, nuts, and fruit.  Chill dough for at least an hour (or up to thirty-six hours), before scooping and baking.

Preheat oven to 350°F.  For crunchy cookies (this is how we made a previous batch, and how Judy makes them), make very small dough balls (maybe a not-heaping tablespoon of dough?) and bake for 12-15 minutes, rotating top and bottom trays halfway through.

I was curious about a chewier oatmeal cookie, so I made the dough balls a bit bigger, but kept the cooking time about the same.

The plan was actually that some would come out crunchier (for Cookie Monster) and some chewier (for me), but I’m afraid none were the super crunchy that Cookie Monster was hoping for, unless he eats them straight from the freezer — they’re very crunchy that way!

Practicing gratitude

It seems that everywhere I turn these days, I get messages about gratitude.

“Cultivating Gratitude and Joy” was one of the main guideposts in Brené Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection, which I read in May as a homework assignment for counseling.  Within days of reading that chapter on gratitude, and noting that it was perhaps something I should practice, I was on a flight home from D.C. and noticed the young woman next to me on the plane pull a small journal from her bag with something like, “Today’s Gifts,” written on the front.

When I relayed this to my counselor, she suggested that every night, I write down [at least] three good things that happened to me that day in my planner (i.e., something I already had — no need to go buy a special book).

I maintained this practice for about a week, and then it fizzled.  Until Monday, that is, when I saw a Facebook link to this article: Stop Glossing Over the Good Stuff.  The author received a wake-up call when a colleague challenged him with the question, “Are you really complaining right now?”

He goes on to relate the conversation and the psychology behind focusing on the negative and glossing over the positive, which is the default position for many of us.    Fortunately, anyone can shift this balance, though it does take practice.

On the same day I found the above-mentioned post, “Practice gratitude” was one item on this list of “Ten Simple Things You Can do Today that will Make You Happier.”  Hmm.

The idea of, and psychology behind, “training” your brain for positivity was explored further in “How to Rewire Your Brain for Positivity and Happiness.”

Since it appears I can’t escape this gratitude thing, I’m going to embrace it.

Three good things about this morning:

  1. A lovely bike ride to Local Harvest Grocery
  2. Gabriel looking forward to going to Mrs. L’s
  3. 10% off at the store

I will record at least three positive things in a journal (I already had one, and my planner was just too small) every day.  It’s a small step — the links above have more suggestions and ideas, but it’s a start.

I may or may not institute a weekly gratitude post here — not sure yet.  I also like the idea of stopping yourself every time you (or someone else) catches a complaint and listing three good things on the spot.

I have no illusions that making the shift from a negative focus to a positive one will be easy.  No, it will require work.  Practice.  Training.  But the benefits seem well worth the effort.  Will you join me?