Category Archives: Health

Diagnosis and drugs

After some debate mid-week last week on whether or not Gabriel needed to see a doctor, I decided to call our pediatrician’s office and run things by the nurse.  It turned out they did want to see him.  I hesitated, expecting I would spend a decent bit of money and time (sitting in a place full of other sick kids) just to be told that it was a virus and would clear soon.  But we were headed into a weekend (a 3-day weekend at that), and I didn’t want to end up in the E.R. if we were dealing with a secondary infection, so I made an appointment for that afternoon.

I arrived with a rather chipper little boy who had not had a fever all day.  When we finally saw the doctor (I really like our pediatrician, but I really dislike the wait times in that office!), he spent a loooooooooong time listening to G’s lungs.  Or, rather, trying to listen to G’s lungs, while the patient squirmed and wriggled.

In the end, the doctor couldn’t get a great read on things, due to patient non-compliance (in retrospect, the behavior might have been partially due to pain he experienced while taking a deep breath).  After coughing, G’s lungs mostly sounded good, except for one spot in his lower right lung, which was maybe okay, but maybe not.  Based on that, our ped made a “soft diagnosis” (his words) of pneumonia and sent us home with a prescription for azithromycin (Z-pac, except the liquid, kiddy version).

[When I had pneumonia in middle school, I’m pretty sure the diagnosis was confirmed with an x-ray, but an x-ray was never raised as a possibility here.]

I was less than thrilled with the uncertain diagnosis and the prescription of a pretty hard-hitting antibiotic, especially given Gabriel’s seemingly-improved state.  I filled the prescription, but we decided to take a wait-and-see approach.

All was good for the next 24-hours: no fever, improved mood and energy, and improved appetite (still a runny nose and a cough, but coughs often linger for quite awhile).  We were able to get outside and take advantage of the beautiful weather on Saturday morning, and I thought we had dodged the antibiotic bullet.

Not so fast.  Late Saturday afternoon, Gabriel’s temperature spiked again, and we decided it was time for the drugs.   He spent the evening on the couch, feeling rotten, and ate next-to-nothing for dinner.

We put him to bed, and there was some coughing in the first few hours, but he settled down to quiet sleep, and then, miraculously, 4:30am came and went with NO coughing! (He’d started coughing around that time every morning for the previous seven days, semi-asleep, but unable to stop coughing until he got up.)

Since then, he’s been fever-free and more-or-less cough-free at night.  He’s clearly feeling better overall, and his appetite is back.  [He barely ate at all last week, which is not his usual, and he wasn’t even interested in noodles (as much as he’s a great eater, under normal circumstances, he would eat noodles day and night if we let him.)]  This is enough evidence for me that there was something bacterial going on and that the antibiotic was warranted.

He took his final dose of the azithromycin yesterday (PSA: If you start taking antibiotics, finish the whole darn course).  Other than some loose stools, his body seems to be tolerating the drug.  In general, I think antibiotics are still over-prescribed, but it’s good to have them there (and effective) when you need them!

Sick kid

Last Saturday night, I told Gabriel that the next day was his half birthday.  He very sweetly asked who was coming to his party.  I had to backpedal a bit, explaining that we don’t really celebrate half birthdays; they are just a way of marking time.  I feared that he would have a meltdown (lots of those in the past couple of months — Tyrannical Threes?), but he handled the “no party” news fairly well.

On his half birthday, he woke with a fever (after a night spent coughing), and he’s been sick ever since.  No party, and the flu?*  He’ll probably just vote to skip his half birthday next year, and I wouldn’t blame him!

He’s been pretty lethargic, with an on-and-off fever, that, other than Sunday morning, seems to appear in the afternoon and dissipate later in the evening.  In general, we like to let the fever do it’s job (the point of a fever is raising the temperature to make it inhospitable to the invading microbes), but at this point, we’re starting to feel like the fever has had it’s chance.

He also has a terrible cough, that, of course, mostly surfaces when he tries to lie down and rest.  His body seems to be able to mostly shut off the coughing for a good portion of the night (perhaps with the help of medicated chest rub), but the cough surfaces in full force around 4:30am.  One morning he coughed so hard (and probably had so much nasty phlegm in his belly), that he threw up a bit.  Fortunately (?) I was in bed with him at the time, but ever since I’ve been paranoid that it will happen again and he’ll asphyxiate.

He rejected my attempt at a homemade honey and lemon cough remedy (it had coconut oil in it, and was kind-of weird, to be fair — maybe just honey and lemon next time???).

In the past five days, G has watched more TV at home than in the past 3.5 years combined (that’s not counting what he watched at his sitter’s, which was not crazy, but more than I was thrilled about): Daniel Tiger and Curious George episodes, along with Charlotte’s Web and Cinderella.

His appetite is almost non-existent.  We’re really pushing the liquids: water, herbal tea with lots of honey, and some [usually diluted] juice.  I’m half tempted to see if I can start lactating again, both for hydration and comfort.

It kind of feels like winter break never ended.  We had one week of school/work normalcy, and now this all week.  So far, Matthew and I are relatively healthy (knock on wood).  I’m hoping that G will kick this thing in the next few days, and be ready to return to school on Tuesday.

*We all had our flu shots, but there’s a nasty influenza strain going around that wasn’t included in this year’s vaccine — rotten luck!

Mindful holidays

Well, another holiday season has come and gone.  I’ve seen some people use the term “holi-daze” to describe this time of year, and it can be all too easy for stress to trump peace and joy.  Thanks in part to conscious decisions to keep things simple, and to my mindfulness practice, I was able to minimize the stress this year, making room to enjoy the meaningful parts of the season.

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On Christmas Eve, Gabriel fell in love with Rudolph, the Mylar balloon that was accompanying the family Santa on his rounds.  Santa let Gabriel adopt Rudolph for a week, after which time the little reindeer was looking a bit droopy around the antlers.  Hopefully he’ll be back again next year.

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After Gabriel was snug in his bed, Matthew and I stuffed stockings and set up the doll house (another advantage of buying used: no assembly required; I just had to arrange the furniture).

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Doll house verdict: Gabriel seems to like it, though I’m having a bit of buyer’s remorse (or is it gifter’s remorse?).  My initial excitement has given way to the reality that it’s just a thing, and a rather large thing that now needs space in our apartment, at that.  Also, as I’m reminded again and again, all of the things in the world are not nearly as important of having someone to play with.

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Receiving blanket gift wrap for the win.

We spent Christmas day in St. Louis, and then headed to Iowa on the day after (a slight change in our original travel plans that made things a little bit crazy, but it allowed us to spend a few hours with my grandpa before he went back home).

In Iowa, the “lack of playmate” issue was resolved, at least for a few days.

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Cousins!

Going home (i.e., to my parents’ house) has been a bit stressful ever since Gabriel entered into the equation.  This trip was by far the nicest, least stressful visit we’ve had in over three years.  While some other variables have changed (e.g., the boys are a bit older), I attribute a lot of this to my improved mental and emotional state.

In addition to the family time, we also enjoyed some nice gatherings with friends.

As expected, maintaining my mindfulness practice during the holidays, when our regular routine was AWOL, was challenging, but more important than ever.  I had to make myself carve out the time and recruit Matthew to Gabriel duty to make it happen.  The second week (December 29 – January 4) was the trickiest, but I still managed to meet my formal practice goal (25 minutes/day, five days per week).

I’d be lying if I said things were perfect.  Two weeks of no preschool was trying, especially since Gabriel is at a stage where the littlest, most ridiculous things lead to meltdowns (e.g., I didn’t use his favorite knife for the peanut butter; I gave him a spoon when there was already a spoon on the table).  Even with my mindfulness practice, there is only so much of this I can take in a day before I am on the verge of a meltdown.

But that’s life, right?  All-in-all, we enjoyed our time together and did a pretty good job focusing on the important things, i.e., people and relationships, rather than stuff or some unattainable “ideal” Christmas.  (We haven’t quite reached the minimal gifting level of one family we know, but we’ll just call that inspiration for the future.)

With three weeks of our aerial silks class left, our experiential gift keeps on giving (fun, exercise, and couples’ bonding time).  My in-laws also gifted me with money to use for a mindfulness retreat (I’m looking at a local, weekend-long retreat in March).  With it’s impact on so many areas of my life (and on others’ lives, through my relationships), my mindfulness practice is the ultimate gift that keeps on giving!

Mindfulness: Changing my brain

Last week, I was excited to see a link to a study which found that mindfulness practice (specifically the 8-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) Program) actually changes the brain.  Turns out that the study is old news (from 2011), but it was the first I had read about these specific findings, which used before and after MRIs to look for changes in specific regions of the brain.

The analysis of MR images, which focused on areas where meditation-associated differences were seen in earlier studies, found increased grey-matter density in the hippocampus, known to be important for learning and memory, and in structures associated with self-awareness, compassion and introspection. Participant-reported reductions in stress also were correlated with decreased grey-matter density in the amygdala, which is known to play an important role in anxiety and stress.

The use of imaging just adds to the already large body of evidence that supports mindfulness practice for both mental and physical health.

My Practice
I can’t believe it’s been over a month since my last mindfulness class!  At that class, the instructor invited us to set short- and long-term goals related to our practice.  My short term goal was to make/find a journal to record my ongoing practice, since I suspected the accountability of recording my practice would be important.  I went with functional over fancy: a two-pocket folder with prongs and some lined notebook paper.

With my short-term goal accomplished, it was time to tackle my long-term goal:

For the next three months, I will engage in formal mindfulness practice for at least 25 minutes per day, 5 days per week.

I finished the class having logged six weeks of regular mindfulness practice.  It was important for me to set a goal that would keep that momentum going and increase the chances that this would be a lifestyle change and not simply a phase.

Five weeks into that three month goal-period, I am happy to report that I’ve been sticking sticking with it, which included maintaining the practice over the holiday weekend (so important!).   I am averaging 25-30 minutes per day, six days per week (I almost used six days per week as my goal, but in the interest of making sure the goal was realistic and achievable, and increasing my chances at feeling successful, I stuck with five days).

I rotate between simple seated meditations (just focusing on the breath), with or without guidance; the body scan; and mindful [guided] yoga.  I’ve also branched out a bit, incorporating some of Tara Brach’s guided meditations in some of my sitting practices.

Even on the days when making time to practice is a challenge, it is always worth it.  Some days, I feel fairly calm and centered throughout the practice.  Other days, those 25-minutes feel like a constant effort of bringing my mind “to heel.”  Such is mindfulness practice.

While not one of my official, written goals, I would very much like to build on my half-day mindfulness retreat experience (and my practice, overall) by participating in a longer retreat.  To that end, I am investigating nearby weekend-long mindfulness retreat options.

While a bit belated, I would like to give thanks [again] for discovering mindfulness, for my mom’s gentle encouragement, for Matthew’s support, and for the resources (money, time, transportation) to participate in Masterpeace Studios’ Mind-Body Stress Reduction Program.

 

 

Mindfulness: Retreat and last class

I spent Saturday morning attending the half-day retreat portion of the mindfulness workshop (the retreat is in addition to the weekly class).  Part of the attraction of this particular workshop, at Masterpeace Studios in Webster Groves (MO), was it’s location, just a few miles from where we live.

Given the distance, I went into it thinking that I would bike to most of the sessions, but it didn’t work out that way.  If I’d had to, I certainly could have biked to the weekly classes, but taking the car was much more convenient, given the timing.

On the way to the 7:00pm class, making the extra 10-15 minutes to bike was tricky, compounded by the fact that I would have been biking on a full stomach.  Biking home from class at 9:00pm would have left me too wound up for my normal bed time (a general problem for me with nighttime biking).  All of this to say that when you have access to a car, it’s easy to find an excuse to use it, even if you could choose another mode . . . .

The Saturday retreat, however, offered the perfect opportunity to bike, and the weather couldn’t have been better!

The Retreat
I really enjoyed the retreat.  Unlike the [understandable] anxiety of some of my classmates (can I do this for four hours?), I went into it feeling very calm and positive (once I found out that I would not have to go four hours without food — hey, I have a very high metabolic rate!), and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

My classmates and I practiced “noble silence” (i.e., not speaking during the retreat), and our instructor led us through a series of guided mindfulness meditations.  She alternated sitting meditation with practices that involved movement (e.g., mindful yoga, walking meditation), which was really nice.

Our final practice was mindful eating, and then we broke the silence and talked about our experience.  I was soaking it all in and didn’t have much to say, but given my classmates’ comments, I’m very glad the timing worked out so that I didn’t feel conflicted about spending those four hours at the retreat instead of attending to a long to-do list.  Having the time and space to go into it unburdened was really a gift.

Former students are invited to join any future retreats, and I already have the March retreat date penciled in my calendar.

Last class
Last night was it.  The last night of [this] mindfulness class. I’m going to miss it, but I’m determined to keep practicing on my own.

The past several weeks have not exactly been low stress, between wrestling with decisions about PA school and replacing my bike, and other, broader issues that are an indirect part of my life.  I won’t say I haven’t been anxious or down at times, but, overall, I think I managed much better during that time than I would have if I had not been practicing mindfulness every day.  Results are good motivation to continue the work!

I’m currently reading Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Full Catastrophe Living, the book on which the course I took was based, and the more in-depth information there is reinforcing what I’ve learned these past six weeks.  I’m finding ideas there that I can incorporate into my own practice going forward.

As I mentioned last time, I’m planning to continue recording my daily practice.  I was wondering what I would do with Monday nights, now that I suddenly have them free again, and I might try to establish them as Mindfulness Mondays, a dedicated time for a longer mindfulness practice.

I’m also looking into longer retreats (2-3 days), ideally ones that don’t require a trip to the east or west coast.  I’d like to find a good, nearby option (i.e., easy drive or train ride) and plan on deepening my practice that way in 2015!