Category Archives: My Life

Unemployment: One year and counting

A couple weeks ago, I hit the one-year mark of being unemployed.  Celebration was minimal nonexistent.

It’s been an interesting twelve months.  Last July, when my previous job ended, I was in the process of interviewing for two full-time positions, and I felt fairly confident that at least one of them would turn into a job offer.  Not so.

Once it became clear that no job offers were pending, I signed up for unemployment benefits.  Between the regular benefits and the federal extension, I received weekly unemployment payments for seven-and-a-half-months.  During that time, between my unemployment income and the fact that we were no longer paying for childcare, we were almost break-even, financially speaking.

While the days could drag on a bit, I was pleasantly surprised at my rather smooth transition to the [temporary (ha!)] stay-at-home-mom role.  Just past his first birthday, Gabriel learned to walk and started becoming more of a little person, more interactive and a bit less dependent.  We filled the autumn months with long, lazy walks with no destination and settled into a decent routine.

Then winter hit, and I lost my easy outdoor entertainment just as Sir entered a particularly clingy, fussy, challenging stage.  It was a pretty dark time for me.

This renewed my determination to find a job, or, at the very least, find some kind of part-time care for Gabriel to preserve my sanity.

Time crawled on with some leads, but no results, on either the childcare or the employment fronts.  I received my last unemployment payment, and the “out” column surpassed the “in” column on our bank statement.

Winter finally gave way to spring, and I started feeling a bit better, just in time for the in-home childcare provider down the street to say she was willing to take Gabriel part time.

Still liking the idea of a bit more time and space without a toddler, and ever optimistic that a job offer could be right around the corner, I started walking Sir down the street to Mrs. L’s twice a week.

That was almost two months ago now.  While I was rather unphased when the unemployment payments ended in March, the financial realities of being a one-income household are starting to sink in.

We’ve been okay (and will, theoretically, continue to be okay — for awhile, at least) due to the fact that we saved like crazy while we were both working, especially in the pre-baby years.

While we are not impoverished, the reality is that we are also not all that far (family of four vs. family of three, or a few thousand dollars less income a year) from qualifying for federal benefits like Food Stamps or the WIC program.

That, and it’s hard to see our savings being drained, especially when we hoped to have that money for a down payment on a house (you know, in about twenty million years when we finally find the needle in a haystack for which we search) and a start for Sir’s college fund, not to mention retirement.

The Flipside
I don’t really know how we managed when we were both working full time, caring for an infant/child, and making most of our food from scratch.  Somehow we slogged through that first year of Gabriel’s life, but ay yi yi!

As much as the financial security of two incomes was great, one person at home makes the simple, DIY lifestyle we prefer a lot easier, while still allowing time to relax and breathe a bit in the evenings.

The Future
I’m still looking and applying for jobs.  I do have a very part-time option that would at least pay for my daycare habit (hey, there could be worse habits, right?), though it won’t put us back in the “saving money” column.

We’re tentatively exploring some options, including one of us going back to school for a career field that would allow us to live comfortably on one income, though that may be more of a knee-jerk reaction than a wise choice at this point.

One day at a time, I guess.

From garden to E.R.

The last weekend in June was not quite a normal weekend for our family.  It started out differently in a good way, with a dinner date on Friday night.

The following Saturday morning, I helped the boys get out the door to the garden as usual, then hopped on my bike to meet Rebecca, a fellow StL blogger (find her at Fiets of STyLe) who recently started bicycling for transportation.

A few weeks ago, Rebecca contacted me after she found my blog and we exchanged a few emails, leading to our Saturday morning coffee meetup (or, in my case, a muffin, since I don’t drink coffee) by bike.

This is the first time I’ve had the opportunity to meet a “blog friend” in person.  Our chosen meeting point, a small, locally-owned coffee shop in Webster Groves, ended up being closed, so we biked a few blocks further to another spot, where we chatted for over an hour, covering various aspects of biking, as well as other topics, including gardening.

Afterward, we each rode off in opposite directions, and I returned home for a normal Saturday of getting stuff done around the house.

Shortly before five, as I was in the midst of dinner preparations and awaiting the gardener’s return, my MIL called to inform me that they were awaiting an ambulance for Matthew, who started experiencing severe pain (i.e., pain so bad that he could not stand up straight and looked like he might pass out) as he was preparing to head home from the garden with Gabriel.

I went into extreme practical mode, packing snacks for a long E.R. wait and overnight stuff for Gabriel, as I waited for my MIL to come and pick me up (usually our one car situation works fine, but as usual, Matthew drove that one car to the garden, leaving me a bit stuck given the location of the hospital to which he was headed — in hind sight, I should have sent her directly to the hospital and called a taxi).

By the time I arrived at the E.R., Matthew had already been there for an hour, and I walked into the room to a very pale and pain-stricken husband.  They had already performed a chest x-ray to rule out lung problems (and had also ruled out appendicitis) and were waiting on a CAT scan of the abdomen.

The minutes and hours ticked by, as two rounds of morphine did nothing to lessen his level 10 pain, and we continued to have more questions than answers.  Finally, an abdominal ultrasound revealed some abnormalities near his gallbladder and liver, which they eventually diagnosed as a blood clot in his inferior vena cava (IVC) — scary stuff, as the next stop for blood in that major vein is the heart, and then onto the lungs, where a clot would cause a pulmonary embolism (probably TMI for those who aren’t science/medical nerds like me).

Anyway, with Dilaudid finally easing the pain, and heparin working to thin his blood, they admitted Matthew to the hospital, where he spent two fun-filled nights and days, including Sunday night where, after waking him for the third time due to concerns about his “low heart rate” (in the 35bpm range) the floor staff called in the doctor who said, “Yep, a low resting heart rate is normal for a  young, healthy, active male.”  Apparently they don’t see many of those in the hospital.

Given the poor sleep and constant poking and prodding at the hospital, he was quite relieved to be discharged late Monday afternoon, despite being sent home with a daily abdominal shot (a bridge blood thinning medication until they figured out his Coumadin dosage).

Somewhat miraculously (and against my better judgement), the doctors okay-ed our planned trip to Wisconsin, which included ten-plus hours in the car (prolonged sitting, such as on road trips or flights is a risk factor for developing blood clots), provided we stop at least every two hours for walking/stretching breaks and keep physical exertion to a minimum on the trip.

Turns out the physical activity was self-limiting, as he experienced continuing fatigue and low energy throughout the next week (and it’s continuing).  We definitely did not pull off any stunts like we did in Glacier, when, not exactly ones to ease into things, we arrived, staked a campsite, and immediately headed out for a challenging fourteen-mile hike.

Fortunately, other than the continuing fatigue (and an unrelated toe sprain that re-injured the toe he hurt last October), we had no health surprises while in Wisconsin.  Very fortunate, given that we were pretty much in the boonies of northern Wisconsin, with no cell phone reception (there was an emergency land line at the resort, but no phones in the units) and miles from medical facilities.

We’re back now (more on the trip later) and still have more questions than answers in many ways.  He’s followed up with his primary care physician (he didn’t have any follow-up visits before we went on vacation — I was less-than-thrilled about traveling with an unclear picture of what was going on), who’s questioning whether or not there is/was a blood clot.  There are more tests and follow-up visits to come, and orders to keep things low-key (again, the fatigue is keeping things in check) until they know more.

Cousin love, childcare, and food-snob-mama-worries

Last week was a little quiet around here because Gabriel and I were visiting my family in Iowa.  All-in-all, it was a good trip, with the unavoidable stresses that result from two toddlers (on completely different nap schedules), two needy dogs, and four adults trying to coexist in one space.

Fortunately, the weather cooperated, so we were able to give the boys lots of outdoor time.  Sir rode his cousin’s Balance Bike, while “Cousin NaNa” rocked the tricycle (unlike Sir, he’s mastered pedaling).

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Let’s race, Cousin Babe!

My nephew, who’s four months older than Gabriel, did a rather good job saying “Gabriel,” but his pronunciation of “Cousin Gabe” sounded like nothing quite so much as “Cousin Babe.”  Thus, Sir has an awesome new nickname.

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Cousin NaNa and Cousin Babe matching shirt photo shoot

We returned mid-week and settled back into our normal routine just in time for today — Sir started three-day-a-week childcare with an in-home provider who lives just down the street from us.

I started dreaming about adding more childcare (in addition to the standing one day a week Sir spends with my MIL) back in February, when I found myself stuck inside with a fussy, clingy little thing.

Now that it has come to pass, I’m not so sure.  There are plenty of things on the pro side, including more time for me to dedicate to the job hunt and some social interaction and a new and more stimulating environment for Sir (his new care provider incorporates preschool-type activities).

And then there are the cons: the expense of paying for childcare when I’m not working, the question of whether I’ll use this new-found time productively, and my worries about how our usual routine here will translate to a new place.

Will he be able to adjust to the later nap time and napping with other kids?  Will he be able to communicate when he needs to use the potty?  And, last but not least, what will she feed him?

Yeah, the food.  Since Mrs. L sometimes serves meat, my plan was to provide an alternative for that part of lunch, probably some variety of beans most days, to go along with whatever else she served for lunch.

I somewhat calmed my fears about what that other food would be (food from BPA-lined cans? processed cheese? other salt- and sweet- and who-knows-what-else-laden processed foods?) by reminding myself that, while I grew up eating a relatively healthy diet, with fresh fruit and veggies (including some from our garden) and a decent bit of whole grains, my diet was far from processed-food-free, and if I survived some less-than-wholesome foods, Sir can too.

Still, I decided that, for the first week, I would pack Sir’s entire lunch, so he would have a guaranteed healthy (and familiar) meal, in addition to whatever Mrs. L provided for the morning and afternoon snack.

This morning, I carefully packed him a container of polenta, seasoned beans, and broccoli and snow pea stir-fry, plus a few nibbles of leftover Thai food.

We walked down the street to Mrs. L’s (yes, childcare within walking distance, a HUGE perk in my book!), and I went through some notes I’d made, showed her the bag with his sun-protective gear, and went to leave, only to realize that I’d forgotten his lunch.

I told her that I’d packed his lunch today and would run home to get it, and she said, “Oh, he can just eat what we’re having, I was planning SpaghettiOs for today.”

I froze, unsure how to proceed.  It was sweet that she’d planned a vegetarian menu for all of the kids on Sir’s first day, but, um, SpaghettiOs?  That’s like a collision of processed food nightmare ingredients combined in a BPA-lined can!  AHHHH!

(Also, my youngest sister went through a phase where all she ate was SpaghettiOs — what if they’re addicting?  What is that the ONLY food he will eat from now on???)

For the sake of simplicity, and not seeming like a crazy, over-protective food snob mom, and to avoid possible upset if I left, returned, and left again, I acquiesced to him eating her planned lunch.

It’s just today, right?

Deep breaths . . . .

DC by bike (and foot and Metro) — Part I

After a few solo days in StL last week, during which time I clearly had a bit too much time on my hands (as evidenced by a blog post ev.er.y day for seven days in a row), I skipped town and headed to our nation’s capitol for a much needed mini-reunion and ladies’ weekend with some fabulous college friends.

I was on the fence about the trip, but the direct (non-stop) Southwest flights from StL to DCA (Ronald Reagan International Airport) sealed the deal.  (Southwest offering flights to DCA is a relatively new thing — exciting b/c DCA is much closer to central Washington, DC, i.e., much more accessible by transit.)

Natalie met me at the airport with a spare SmarTrip [transit] card, so I didn’t even have to navigate the Metro by myself (it was actually fairly straightforward).  After dropping off my bags, and picking up our friend Jennifer, we walked to Sweet Green, a DC-area made-to-order salad restaurant.

Having overdosed a bit on lettuce in the days leading up to the trip, a salad place might not have been my first choice, but the combination of close, fast, healthy, and affordable kept me from voicing any hesitation.

Fortunately, they had some base options other than just lettuce, and I chose a combination of kale (one green which has been missing from my life recently) and warm grains.  I was excited to see that many of their ingredients were sourced locally, including the kale, [hard-boiled] eggs, and homemade spicy pickles that I chose for my salad.  Tasty and a fun twist on a “regular old salad.”

I was up early on Thursday morning, so I headed out for a short run, destination Bicycle Space, a local bike shop that carries Yuba bicycles.  (The day before I left StL, I had the brilliant idea to find a Yuba dealer in DC so I could take the Mundo for a test ride.)  The run turned into a bit of a scavenger hunt, as the shop had moved, and the address I had was their old location.  I tracked down their new shop, knowing they would not be open that early, but planning on some window shopping.

I returned from my run with my brilliant plan in jeopardy, having not seen any Yuba bicycles in the shop.  I waited until opening time to call the shop, where an employee confirmed that they did not have any Yuba Mundos in stock, but they were expecting a shipment soon.  Not soon enough for this visitor, but they helpfully directed me to a different bike shop in the DC-area.

Natalie graciously offered to drive me to The Green Commuter, in the near suburb of Takoma Park, MD.  Ironic that my one car-trip of the visit was to ride a bicycle, especially given the name of the shop.  But there it finally was — a Yuba Mundo in real life!

The shop employees were great, adjusting the bike for me and letting me take it for a spin, knowing that I was from out-of-town and wouldn’t actually be making a purchase from them.  So, yeah, no photo evidence, but I finally rode a longtail (and one of the bikes we are considering).

After driving back into DC, we grabbed a quick lunch and hopped on the Metro to the National Mall area, where we spent the afternoon walking, browsing museums, etc.  It was super hot, but I somehow resisted the temptation to cool off in the fountains that we passed.

I’ll pause there for now.  Check back later this week for DC — Part II, which includes much more biking than just a test ride (as well as the limited number of photos I took on the trip)!

Friday facts

First up, if you haven’t already, check out Her Green Life’s snazzy new Facebook page.  I’ve resisted creating one for awhile, but I decided to give it a trial run, as another way for you to stay up-to-date on posts here.  Simply “Like” the page to stay in the loop!

Employment, or lack thereof
I’ve now been unemployed for over nine months.  Unlike the results of nine months of pregnancy, nothing special happens after nine months of being unemployed.  However, if we did have a fourth family member, we would qualify for food stamps on our one-job income.  Interesting, no?  (But definitely NOT incentive to have another child!)

That said, I have a job interview on Monday — fingers crossed!

Sir’s summer
Regardless of what happens with the interview, Sir will resume part-time child care starting sometime in June.  It’s something I’ve been pondering for awhile.  It should be good for his social development and my sanity.  The hardest part for me is giving up control of nap time, meals, etc.

Prior to that, Sir will travel with Baba (grandma) to Florida.  It’s bittersweet because I’ll miss his first time in the ocean, but it means I’ll have over a week child-free!  Look for some long-overdue posts that I’ve been meaning to write.

In the garden
The cooler, rainy spring means slow growth for most everything.  Our pea plants (snow and sugar snap) are quite stunted, and, in general, most everything (other than the weeds) is behind given the cooler, rainy spring.

However, after a crazy weeknight gardening blitz, we have seventy, yes, 7-0, tomato plants in the ground.  Grow, babies, grow!

Two-wheeled report
And, last, but certainly not least, sometime in the next few weeks, I’ll be embarking on an exciting bike-related project, as well as a new phase in my bike-commuting journey.  Stay tuned!