Couch potato confessions

Since the beginning of September, I have spent my Saturday afternoons engaged in an unusual pursuit: watching commercial television.  TV does not fit into my active lifestyle.  Or my green lifestyle, for that matter.  The [small, older] TV, DVD player, converter box (purchased begrudgingly, as the lesser of two evils — the greater being buying a new TV), and VCR are plugged into a power strip that spends most of its time in the “Off” position, to avoid vampire power draw.  But on Saturday afternoons, I flip the switch to “On” and settle in for a few hours to watch my team, the University of Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

“Settle in” is actually misleading because I resemble a Mexican jumping bean much more than a couch potato.  Every commercial, I pop up to do one thing or another.  One game I chopped the tomatoes to make our canned tomato sauce.  Another game I prepared fresh basil for freezing.  I think I get as much exercise as the football players sometimes, minus the people running into me and throwing me to the ground.  I also have yet to develop turf toe or break my collarbone while working with tomatoes or basil, but you never know.

“Settle in” is also a misnomer for the games so far this season, which have been anything but relaxing.  Do we have to have dramatic, nail biter finishes every week?  All I have to say is, if I have a heart attack before the age of thirty, it’s all their fault.